[he assumed the other man would grab the lighter, but call it being brought back that made him indulgent. fine, he'll concede. inclining his head, he touches the tip of his cigarette to Andersen's, inhaling to light it that way. once it's glowing red in kind, he pulls back enough to exhale the smoke away.]
Apparently, these will harm you over time.
[a cheering thought.]
But I consider it to be that I shall return to being a wraith long before their poison overcomes any resistances I have.
[He expected the lighter, not Dantes's presence. A stillness settles between them and, almost imperceptibly, Andersen's breath catches. He doesn't move, is careful to keep his eyes on the cigarette in his fingers and nowhere else. It's only when Dantes pulls away that Andersen relaxes, lets himself release his sigh as a puff of smoke.]
And? Which do you prefer?
[The rich taste of tobacco is thick in his mouth. He breathes it in.]
A wraith is what I am, in soul if not in form. This body can hardly be called human, though. It's only a creation of flesh, subject to the whims of magic to twist and distort it into strange shapes for untold reasons.
[he's never liked what he is. but he cannot change it - only find ways it can be borne.]
Neither of these existences can truly be called life. Only the clawing grasping reach of a thing that cannot and will not yet die.
[There is a moment of quiet, filled by the smoke building up between them. Andersen watches the grey haze swirl and dissipate, lets the warmth of it build up over his face.]
Hm. Naturally. Rejecting one's true nature only causes tragedy and pain. However... allow me to speak as an author. It doesn't matter if you consider yourself human or not. In the end, you remain my Bonded and one of my readers. That designates you as someone I ought to cherish.
[for a moment, he simply looks over at Andersen, brow raised and silent. the space between them stretches, before he gives a little sigh, any number of a thousand calculations and ideas passing through his head to be considered and resolved or discarded. he thinks too much, he always will, but right now...]
Your trips through the mirrors have made you sentimental, my friend.
[he hadn't forgotten that declaration Andersen made. it, like other things, was lodged in his core as a foothold to steady himself with.]
[No matter how many times Andersen tried to kill the kindness in his heart -- no matter how hard he tried to ward others away with heated words and biting contempt -- the fact remained that he could not help loving what the world could be. It's why Ritsuka shines as such a bright star for him, why he held Kiara's hand as she fell apart like petals blown from a withering tree. Humans hold potential. He sees that same spark of potential in Dantes.
[the cigarette hangs out of the corner of his mouth as he stretches his arms above his head.]
It's why you let Gerda's journey not be in vain. Why you gave the Little Mermaid hope. It's splashed all over your pages as much as ink, and it colors your daily thoughts.
Is it so surprising I read your works? The ones I could not have seen in my lifetime reside in Chaldea's archives.
[so yes. he might have deliberately sought out some of the collected volumes of Andersen's works. he used a lot of free time in Chaldea to improve his mind, after all.]
Of course I'm surprised! It's difficult to imagine an Avenger settling in with a book of children's fairy tales. Tales of woe, of justice, of revenge... I'd take you as the sort of man who'd indulge in something richer. More grown up, so to speak.
[Andersen remains on his back, smoke wafting slowly from his cigarette. He folds his hands behind his head.]
You clearly haven't been taking care of yourself. You're a Monster in this realm; you can't go without a Bond or you'll lose control. And from what I know of you, that's what you fear the most.
[Explain it reasonably, logically. He's doing his best to present it as a need more than the want it truly is.]
For whatever reason, you won't Bond with anyone else. That leaves me in an inconvenient position of responsibility.
How many times will I have to explain to you that I cannot Bond with someone else unless I could deeply consider the prospect of having them linked to my mind and not find it something to recoil from?
[but he looks down at Andersen, and can't hide the twitch in his expression that says he's wavering.]
...are you certain you'd make that commitment again? Even though you may only have so long before Chaldea calls again?
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Apparently, these will harm you over time.
[a cheering thought.]
But I consider it to be that I shall return to being a wraith long before their poison overcomes any resistances I have.
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And? Which do you prefer?
[The rich taste of tobacco is thick in his mouth. He breathes it in.]
The life of a human or the life of a wraith?
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[he's never liked what he is. but he cannot change it - only find ways it can be borne.]
Neither of these existences can truly be called life. Only the clawing grasping reach of a thing that cannot and will not yet die.
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Shut up you tryhard. You didn't answer my question. It's not about what you're resigned to: it's about what you want.
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[he's also been. moody lately.]
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Who am I to question you. I'm the same as you. I don't believe myself to be human, any more than you believe yourself to be whole.
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[it's his turn to lie down on the bed, blowing smoke at the ceiling.]
And I know I'm not even close to a whole man. Pretending otherwise would only lead to misfortune.
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Hm. Naturally. Rejecting one's true nature only causes tragedy and pain. However... allow me to speak as an author. It doesn't matter if you consider yourself human or not. In the end, you remain my Bonded and one of my readers. That designates you as someone I ought to cherish.
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Your trips through the mirrors have made you sentimental, my friend.
[he hadn't forgotten that declaration Andersen made. it, like other things, was lodged in his core as a foothold to steady himself with.]
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[No matter how many times Andersen tried to kill the kindness in his heart -- no matter how hard he tried to ward others away with heated words and biting contempt -- the fact remained that he could not help loving what the world could be. It's why Ritsuka shines as such a bright star for him, why he held Kiara's hand as she fell apart like petals blown from a withering tree. Humans hold potential. He sees that same spark of potential in Dantes.
He blinks away the sting of the smoke.]
I've always been this way.
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[the cigarette hangs out of the corner of his mouth as he stretches his arms above his head.]
It's why you let Gerda's journey not be in vain. Why you gave the Little Mermaid hope. It's splashed all over your pages as much as ink, and it colors your daily thoughts.
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You've been more diligent in your readings than I previously thought. Could it be you were a fanboy of mine all this time?
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[so yes. he might have deliberately sought out some of the collected volumes of Andersen's works. he used a lot of free time in Chaldea to improve his mind, after all.]
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[as if Andersen's stories were written for children alone.]
Perhaps I preferred lighter fare than retracing the steps of my existence.
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I see. Then I'm a source entertainment for you. The author serves the story in the end.
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[it is late, after all, and they could easily start another shouting match, but he's trying to extend the olive branch now.]
You've already thoroughly distracted me from my work, in any case. What other demands do you make, newly rearrived as you are?
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What I have in mind is a bad idea. Even knowing that, will you listen to it?
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[you say bad idea, and he's all ears.]
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What?
[say it again.]
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You clearly haven't been taking care of yourself. You're a Monster in this realm; you can't go without a Bond or you'll lose control. And from what I know of you, that's what you fear the most.
[Explain it reasonably, logically. He's doing his best to present it as a need more than the want it truly is.]
For whatever reason, you won't Bond with anyone else. That leaves me in an inconvenient position of responsibility.
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[but he looks down at Andersen, and can't hide the twitch in his expression that says he's wavering.]
...are you certain you'd make that commitment again? Even though you may only have so long before Chaldea calls again?
[are you certain you'd commit to me?]
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